No husband responds to disrespectful attitudes any more than a wife responds to unloving and disrespectful attitudes. In other words, you recognize that a hostile and contemptuous attitude is ineffective in helping resolve the issues.Ī husband may not deserve respect because he has not earned respect, but a wife’s disrespect for him is ineffective long-term-and not biblical. Unconditional means that you give the person the gift of love and respect as you confront the issues. Unconditional does not mean superficial praise. Unconditional does not mean you go along with bad behavior, giving another person license to do whatever he or she feels. However, unconditional does not mean you remove all the healthy conditions that make a marriage succeed. When the Bible reveals that a wife is to respect her husband, it is shown in the same way a husband is to show love to his wife (Eph. So is this what Christ had in mind for married women? Not at all!
Right?īut mention unconditional respect and some women go through the roof! Immediately, visions of weak, dependent women flood their minds – along with the inevitable label – DOOR MAT.
Most of us have no problem separating the person from their behavior when it comes to love.
Imagine expecting our children to “earn” our love! We would disapprove of such parenting. Interestingly, in our culture we don’t have a problem understanding unconditional love…in fact, we see unconditional love as the right of every human being. When I talk about unconditional respect being equal to unconditional love (Ephesians 5:33), one of the questions I hear the most is some variation of, “Are you telling me I have to unconditionally respect my husband’s bad behavior and become a door mat? Everyone knows respect must be earned!”
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